A conversation ...

I am broken.
I am imperfect. I have limitations.
There are many things that I cannot do.
I accept all that and I'm happy with that, in fact.. I rejoice in that.
and I wish to share this joyful acceptance of imperfection with all.

I am joyful because my brokenness does not rule me anymore.
My past hurts have no power over me.
One good thing about knowing how the past influences the present is that we gain control over our future.

I think a person is a swan in his willingness to admit that he's an ugly duck, a leader in his willingness to serve, beautiful in his admission that he is not perfect, a saviour in his willingness to sacrifice, glorious in his willingness to be defeated.

I am not like that person, but I see that the beginning of becoming like him is by me accepting my limitations and imperfections, and being happy with these imperfections.

Because limitations and imperfections are our interfaces with God. If we admit that we are all okay and do not set limits to where we are okay until, we're only trying to convince ourselves that we are in touch with God, but we are not really touching God.

So here I go again: I'm broken, I know what's broken with me, and this knowledge sets me free.

...

I once read that the sign of intelligence is the realization of true limitations. Likewise, I think I've struck gold by realizing my true [character] defects as a person, and understanding the basic workings/mechanics of these defects (by remembering the past and how it influences the present), leads me to a path of healing.. so that I can overcome them.

I guess God has His reasons for not healing me rightaway.. maybe He wants me to learn to appreciate the process .. maybe He wants me to learn other things along the way and be more mature. I certainly don't know, but I do know I'm still broken, still have my limitations, I am not a saint nor a mystic, I'm a human being, born of human flesh, but guided into His likeness by His spirit.

...

I'm now yearning for a community where I can share all these joy and happiness.. I think now I'm beginning to understand the need to join a church.. I'm taking delight in my emotions and in the emotions of others.. there's happiness in the ability to shed tears.. to get in touch with a feeling or with someone.. or with a thought.. with God.

So here I go again: I'm broken, I know what's broken with me, and this knowledge sets me free.