The Fourth Companion

September 30, 2004

Absolutely Clear

Don't surrender your loneliness
So quickly.
Let it cut more deep.

Let it ferment and season you
As few human
Or even divine ingredients can.

Something missing in my heart tonight
Has made my eyes so soft,
My voice
So tender,

My need of God
Absolutely
Clear.

~ Absolutely Clear by Hafiz of Shiraz (circa 1350 AD)

September 29, 2004

On Celibacy

... friendship is so essential. Friendship helps us to know that we do not struggle alone, that even in our weakest moments we are loved. Friendship also offers us an opportunity for real intimacy outside of marriage. C.S. Lewis wrote, "Eros will have naked bodies; friendship, naked personalities."

“But married people are lonely, too, aren’t they Jenny?” he asked me.

I could only say yes. In each marriage, there are areas where the couple doesn’t meet perfectly. Rolheiser wrote: “If we are married, even if we are enjoying a healthy sexual relationship, nonetheless there will still remain, always, certain painful areas of inconsummation, places in our life and our soul where we sleep alone.”

On this side of paradise, we all experience some measure of loneliness, a restless searching that permeates the celibate season and continues into marriage. Although friends, spouses and family members meet many of our emotional needs, hidden within those needs are deep longings that can be fulfilled by God alone.

As we surrender those needs to the One who loves us best, we begin to trust that they will be met in due time. “Our hearts were made for You, O Lord,” Saint Augustine prayed. “And they are restless until they rest in you.”

From A Season of Celibacy - http://www.boundless.org/features/a0000941.html

revelation

here's a revelation..

the privilege of being a technical person is that you can be dogmatic, you can be stubborn, you can refuse to do things until you are convinced of its true value ... and people will respect you for that (even if the respect will only acknowledged in the long run, i.e. they may not see this value rightaway).

They may say "ah.. this dude doesn't see the business perspective of things" ..

but don't get them wrong, there's a difference between "not being able to see", and "refusing to see because you know you can add more value to the team by being dogmatically stubborn." and you have the privilege of being able to choose to be stubborn because you have the authority to make judgement calls on anything that is technical.

the truth is that most technical people can see the business perspective; and they may even see things in a more organized/structure way and refuse to entertain things that are "in the grey area", because "grey areas" are difficult to manage, difficult to control, and manageability and control is high in any technical guy's list of priorities. This may sound uncompromising and unrealistic, but they know that this is where their true value lies.

Compromises tend to lead to mediocrity if not backed by a solid core of uncompromising technical zealots who know exactly what can be done and what cannot be done.

And it's scary if you see your technical guys "compromising" .. . just to get the job done.

they're not supposed to do that.

and it's scary if you see your project leads/managers forcing your technical guys to start compromising..

so here's to all techies out there.. be uncompromising.. be stubborn.. that is what you're hired to do.

September 28, 2004

A conversation ...

I am broken.
I am imperfect. I have limitations.
There are many things that I cannot do.
I accept all that and I'm happy with that, in fact.. I rejoice in that.
and I wish to share this joyful acceptance of imperfection with all.

I am joyful because my brokenness does not rule me anymore.
My past hurts have no power over me.
One good thing about knowing how the past influences the present is that we gain control over our future.

I think a person is a swan in his willingness to admit that he's an ugly duck, a leader in his willingness to serve, beautiful in his admission that he is not perfect, a saviour in his willingness to sacrifice, glorious in his willingness to be defeated.

I am not like that person, but I see that the beginning of becoming like him is by me accepting my limitations and imperfections, and being happy with these imperfections.

Because limitations and imperfections are our interfaces with God. If we admit that we are all okay and do not set limits to where we are okay until, we're only trying to convince ourselves that we are in touch with God, but we are not really touching God.

So here I go again: I'm broken, I know what's broken with me, and this knowledge sets me free.

...

I once read that the sign of intelligence is the realization of true limitations. Likewise, I think I've struck gold by realizing my true [character] defects as a person, and understanding the basic workings/mechanics of these defects (by remembering the past and how it influences the present), leads me to a path of healing.. so that I can overcome them.

I guess God has His reasons for not healing me rightaway.. maybe He wants me to learn to appreciate the process .. maybe He wants me to learn other things along the way and be more mature. I certainly don't know, but I do know I'm still broken, still have my limitations, I am not a saint nor a mystic, I'm a human being, born of human flesh, but guided into His likeness by His spirit.

...

I'm now yearning for a community where I can share all these joy and happiness.. I think now I'm beginning to understand the need to join a church.. I'm taking delight in my emotions and in the emotions of others.. there's happiness in the ability to shed tears.. to get in touch with a feeling or with someone.. or with a thought.. with God.

So here I go again: I'm broken, I know what's broken with me, and this knowledge sets me free.

September 26, 2004

The Joy of Work

Robson admitted it is the simple things he misses about [work].

He revealed: 'I felt lost, to lose all those contacts, the network of people around you, the email system, telephone, fax, the staff, who I have to say I were quite distraught because we'd been together for a long, long time.'

Looking ahead to the future, it appears Robson is not content with relaxing on the golf course every day.

He continued: 'I want to work, I like working, I don't like supermarkets on Saturday afternoons. I like watching other teams play. I just love football.

'But I'm not rushing into anything, I'm very fit. I'll do it for the right job, some things might be available. But I'm having a break for the first time in 54 years.

September 24, 2004

1 life. live it.

Got this in the mail today:

"As a valued customer of Sunrisers, you can expect a host of privileges and benefits that will raise all your expectations.

Up to $500 discount on your handset upgrades
FREE registration for all value-added services
FREE monthly subscription for Caller Display and Auto Roaming
FREE SIM card backup/upgrade
FREE rental of roaming handsets
20% discount on accessories
3 year annual fee waiver for M1 Citibank Visa Gold

24 hours M1 Assist personal assistance service designed to provide you with the ultimate convenience. Services available:

- instant referral for reliable locksmith, plumber, electrician, air-con repairman, cleanders for your sofa, walls, carpets, and windows
- laundry pick-up/drop-off services
- home grocery delivery
- hot meals catering referral
- chauffeured transportation service referral
- rental and reservation for golf courses, limousines, restaurants, conference venues
- flower and gift delivery for loved ones
- information and reservation for special events and performances
- messenger and courier services
- sourcing of luxury and exclusive fashion items."

hmmm... :)


Random Ramblings

Back in the university, I have friends asking me how on earth I could ace subjects like Computer Architecture, Computer Organization, and so on. My reply to them was simple: "forget reading what the books tell you, ignore your lecturer, and instead ask yourself how would you design the system if you're given the opportunity".

I guess I have a knack for looking at things as systems, a bunch of interacting processes and subprocesses exchanging messages in the process to achieve an overal objective. I see cars that way, I see the human body that way (friends from the medical faculty sure helped), I see organizations, countries, nations, companies, teams, that way.

Every good and proper system has well-defined processes that'd make the infrastructure for that system. You house has a structural system that holds it together, a plumbing system to supply water, an electrical system, a system for managing the traffic of air, temperature, and people in and out of rooms, and other more systems that are so good and reliable that you don't even see/feel their existence anymore (which reminds me of nature.. an impresive integration of systems and subsystems that are so good and reliable that you don't even notice they're there). Without well-defined processes as part of infrastructure, any system will fall apart, your house would be unlive-able, it won't even stand in place.

Every organization, country, company, institution on earth must have well-defined processes over the basic principles of their core activities. Without these processes, those organizations should have not existed at all.

When the organization in question is a software company, the processes we refer to are software engineering processes. Processes that are defined based on deep understanding of the economic principles that lie behind the business of developing, maintaining, and selling software.

When a software company does not understand the underlying economic principles of developing, maintaining and selling software, that company has no processes that "support" its activities. There are two purposes of having an infrastructure in a software company: to aggregate the intelligence/understanding of your underlying business into something that every stakeholder in the company can readily use without having to crack their brains everytime, and so that every unit of resource spent for the company can be multiplied in its returns, that is function of an infrastructure is so that when we plug in one unit of resource into the company, the company can operate systematically and produce multiples in returns of that unit of resource invested.

Without such proper processes set up as infrastructure of the company, we end up having too much resources spent on a variety of things that end up in wastage because there's no system to make best use of those spent resources. When you don't have infrastructure, it doesn't matter how many top brains you bring into your company, they'll just be wasted. It doesn't matter how charismatic (or intimidatingly scary) your CEO is, the company will never move with agility and speed simply because there is no infrastructure that enables it to move fast.

So how can any organization do it right ? be honest with yourself, what is your core business.. what it is that you truly know and understand ? if you don't know the basic economics of X, you shouldn't be in the business of X. don't venture too much outside of what you know you can learn and be good at. there's a difference between taking something up because your ego says you should be able to do it, and because you know you can be good at it.

This is all common sense isn't it ? well it's obviously not so apparent for some people (yours truly included at some point of his life).

September 09, 2004

"Why, I asked, are we tricked into thinking that achievement and accumulation are the secret of success when, in fact, real success begins with the building of a few personal relationships which become so precious that you would die - without hesitation - for your friends?

I fear for too many ... work whose relationships (even marriages) are defined by some institutional function, relationships which will weaken and dissolve soon after the function does. "

~ from LeadershipJournal.net

September 02, 2004

It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena; whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows in the end the triumph of high achievement; and who, at worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.