Selflessness: a reflection

Legend has it that Hanuman - the monkey-faced hindu god - symbolizes the pinnacle of bhakti, or selflessness and loving devotion. He was blessed with great might and power; unfortunately, he was cursed with never realizing his prowess unless people manages to convince him.

Selflessness comes from thinking outside oneself, from putting oneself in the shoe of another, to feel the person's pain, joy, anxiety, and frustration. Unfortunately, when we become selfless, we also tend to focus too much on the other person, on the problem, and forget about what we can do to help the person. In most cases, we get carried away and we too end up losing ourselves.

In an ideal world, I believe we should not be selfless, before we understand who "the self" in each of us really is, before we know what we are capable of. We can only help others if we know how to help ourselves first.

But this is not an ideal world, we're not born on this earth knowing who we are. We learn who we are from the people around us, including those we are called to help.

In the legends, a group of monkeys sang praises to Hanuman, reminding him of what he had done in the past; this enabled Hanuman to gather all his might and jump across the vast ocean in order to save Sita. Perhaps this too applies to us; perhaps, we also depend on those around us, on our friends, our families, and on God to help us discover who we are and what we can do to achieve what we're called to do.

Giving them what they want ...

(without losing who you are)

Becoming comfortable with who we are — with who God made us to be — is a challenging task, but the resulting liberation is invaluable. I like the way Eugene Peterson translates Romans 12:2 in The Message translation:

Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.

God makes it clear: He looks at the heart. When God was choosing a leader for Israel, the prophet Samuel was leaning toward men who “looked” the part, like Eliab, who was apparently tall and handsome with minty fresh breath. But the Lord tells Samuel in 1 Samuel 16:7:

Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.

Here’s what I should be asking: Who am I at the core of my heart; am I trying to deny that for any reason? Is my “window dressing” an attempt to disguise who I really am or is it just a part of making a good presentation? If the integrity of my heart isn’t compromised then I’ve met the most important standard.

So go ahead and “give them what they want,” as long as you start by giving God what He wants — a pure heart. Resist the temptation to try to fit the mold — the culture around you — and instead embrace the person God made you to be, trusting that He knows what He’s doing. The earlier we learn this lesson, the more disappointment and frustration we’ll avoid down the road.

When God whispered

The prophet Elijah had an awesome encounter with God, and it happened at the lowest moment in Elijah's life. The story, in 1 Kings 19, begins with the prophet hiding in a cave.

"Elijah, why are you here?" the Lord asked.

Exhausted and deeply sad, Elijah explained, "Lord, God All-Powerful, I've always done my best to obey you. But your people have broken their solemn promise to you. They have torn down your altars and killed all your prophets, except me. And now they are even trying to kill me!"

Elijah was ready to call it quits. So what did the Lord ask him to do? Something a little odd, actually. He said, "Go out and stand on the mountain. I want you to see me when I pass by."

Elijah obeyed. But before he could step out of the cave, a thunderous wind hit the mountainside, shattering rocks in all its fierceness. But the Lord was not in the wind, or the violent earthquake that followed. He wasn't in the fire that rained from heaven after that. No doubt Elijah wondered what would come next: A lightning bolt? A flood? A volcanic outburst?

Instead, in the still silence, Elijah heard a gentle whisper. He knew it was the Lord. He got up, stood at the opening of the cave and hid his face with his coat.

The gentle voice asked Elijah the same question it had before: "Elijah, why are you here?" Elijah repeated his earlier answer. Then, the Lord gave Elijah specific instructions and told him he wasn't the only one refusing to worship idols. Seven thousand others had not left God to follow Baal.

Keep in mind that God whispered. To hear someone's whisper, you need to be near him or her. Whispering doesn't work very well if you're speaking to someone who's standing on the other side of the room. God doesn't want a long-distance relationship; he wants a close, intimate one.

Read more at ChristianityToday.com

New iPod ?

Daily Times - Site Edition: Possible new Ipod causing buzz.

I hate to brag about this but I know this was coming... I know this was coming. I said that Apple is going to have color-screen versions of their iPod and is going to expand their offering to other multimedia contents, starting with pictures/photos.

But of course I also said that after this we'd see that color-screen playing video, the addition of better PIM softwares on iPods, and the icing on the cake would be some better communication features i.e. WiFi to link up with your iMac and commercial multimedia hotspots, and last but not least GSM perhaps ? I've always wanted to see what Apple cellphones would look like ;)..

Free Will and Predestination

The Catholic Church, following St. Augustine (e.g., Grace and Free Will, 1,1; Sermon 169, 11,13), accepts predestination of the elect to heaven, but also affirms the freedom of the human will, thus staking out a position distinct from Calvinism. Predestination to hell, in Catholicism, always involves man's free will, and foreseen sins, so that man is ultimately responsible for his own damnation, not God (double predestination is rejected).

God is sovereign, in our [read: the Catholic] view, every bit as much as in Protestantism (particularly Calvinism), as will amply be demonstrated below. All that is disputed are the intricacies of the grace / free will antinomy, which is one of the most mysterious and difficult questions in the history of both Christian theology and theistic philosophy. Of course, the allowance of free will is also present in Lutheran, Anglican, Methodist, most charismatic, non-denominational and Baptist theologies, etc.

The Catholic Church affirms predestination as a de fide dogma (the highest level of binding theological certainty), while at the same time affirming free will and the possibility of falling away from the faith. The following material from Catholic theologian Ludwig Ott's Fundamentals of Catholic Dogma (Rockford, IL: TAN Books, 1974 {orig. 1952}, pp.242-45) ought to be most helpful for Protestants seeking to understand what Catholics believe about this ever-mysterious, controversial, complex, highly abstract theological question...

Read more at http://ic.net/~erasmus/RAZ120.HTM

This will be the key to our victory: because it seems impossible, we will do it!

~ Napoleon Bonaparte

Total Depravity

From Wikipedia.

Total depravity is a theological term primarily associated with Calvinism, which interprets the Bible to teach that, as a consequence of the Fall of man, every person born into the world is enslaved to the service of sin. In other words, each person has a natural inclination not to love God with his heart or mind or strength; and every person is inclined to serve his own interests over those of his neighbor. Or, put yet another way, man without God, even with all circumstances in his favor, can do nothing but work for his own destruction; and even his religion and philanthropy are destructive, to the extent that these originate from his own imagination, passions and will.

"Total depravity" does not mean that all men are as bad as possible. Rather, it means that even the good which men intend is faulty in its premise, false in its motive, and weak in its implementation; and there is no refinement of his natural capacities that can finally correct this condition. In the Calvinist system, the logical corollary is that salvation is only possible because of the grace and mercy of God, and is not owing to human work (Sola gratia). Although it is easily confused with philosophical cynicism, total depravity counsels optimism concerning God's love for what He has made, and His ability to accomplish the irreproachable good that He intends for his creation, even through the agency of sinful human beings.

This understanding of human depravity is comparable in almost every respect to Martin Luther's view of man's state after the Fall. Lutheranism and Calvinism both appeal to Augustine of Hippo(1) for their understanding of Original sin. Of course, there are many Christian groups, also among Catholics and Protestants, including in the Lutheran churches and the Reformed churches, that disagree with this interpretation of both the Bible and of Augustine. This understanding of human depravity was also not shared by Augustine's contemporaries in the Greek-speaking part of the church, and is still not shared in Eastern Orthodoxy.

(1) Augustine of Hippo is a Saint and Doctor of the Church according to Roman Catholicism; he was the eldest son of Saint Monica. Many Protestants also consider him to be a spiritual ancestor of Protestantism, in the sense that Protestantism's founder Martin Luther was deeply influenced by him (Luther was trained as an Augustinian monk), and in Protestantism's general focus, following Augustine, on original sin which leads to a more realistic (though critics would say pessimistic) assessment of human reason and action apart from divine grace.

Related reading: Free Will and the Problem of Evil, immaculate conception, original sin.

The importance of organization

From Wikipedia.

The Battle of Karansebes took place on the evening of 17 September 1788, between different portions of an Austrian army which was supposed to be fighting the Turks.

The army of Austria, approximately 100,000 strong, was setting up camp around the town of Karansebes on the evening of the 17th. The army's vanguard, a contingent of hussars, crossed the river Timisul nearby to scout for the presence of the enemy - who in this case was the Ottoman Empire. There was no sign of a Turkish presence, but the hussars did run into a group of gypsies, who saw the opportunity to make a load of money and offered to sell the tired soldiers some schnapps. The cavalrymen gladly handed over the money and started drinking heavily.

Soon afterwards some infantry crossed the river. When they saw the partying going on (for the gypsies also offered girls), the infantry demanded some booze of their own. The hussars refused to turn over any of the schnapps, and in their drunken mood set up makeshift fortifications around the barrel. A heated argument ensued, and somebody fired a shot.

The hussars and infantry now began a full-fledged battle, charging at one another and so on. When it became clear that they were never going to quench their thirst at this rate, some infantry began shouting 'Turci! Turci!' - 'Turks! Turks!' The hussars ran away in fright, thinking the Turkish attack was imminent. Most of the infantry also ran away, because very few of them could understand each other. The army was comprised of Italians from Lombardy, Slavs from the Balkans, and Austrians, plus other minorities - none of whom could understand each other. It's not clear which, but one of these ethnicities started the 'Turks' ruse without telling the others, and the others promptly fled.

As the cavalry ran through the camps, a corps commander reasoned it was a cavalry charge by the Turkish enemy and ordered artillery to start firing. Meanwhile, the whole camp awoke to the sound of battle and, rather than waiting to see what was going on, everyone fled. The paranoid, scared troops fired at every shadow, thinking the Turks were everywhere; in reality they were shooting fellow Austrian soldiers. The lunacy escalated to the point where the whole army turned tail and fled from the imaginary enemy, and Austrian Emperor Joseph II was pushed off his horse into a small creek.

Two days later, the Turkish army arrived. They discovered no less than 10,000 killed and wounded soldiers, and no doubt had a good laugh.

Is Tony Blair Converting to Catholicism?

From Christianity Today Magazine.

This story sounds vaguely familiar: A leading national politician disagrees with Roman Catholic teachings, but still attends Catholic Mass. The press goes nuts wondering if he'll take Communion, or if he'll be barred the elements. Church leaders and the politician's staff seem to differ significantly on the facts.

Only we're not talking about John Kerry, but British Prime Minister Tony Blair. Roman Catholic priest Timothy Russ is quoted throughout the British press today saying that Blair is on the verge of converting. Blair regularly invites Russ to celebrate Mass at Blair's retreat home, and used to attend his parish church. Blair's wife and three children are Roman Catholics, but he is a member of the Church of England. He says he attends Catholic Mass so his family can worship together, but Russ says that may be about to change.

'If you ask me do you think he wants to become a Catholic, I would say yes,' Russ told The Telegraph. The Guardian quotes him saying, 'Normally speaking, if you have someone committed like him, then yes, he will become a Catholic.' He didn't say to me, 'Can I become a Catholic?' What he said to me was, 'Can the prime minister be a Catholic?'.

"And when the sixth hour had come, there was darkness over the whole land until the ninth hour. And at the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, "Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?" which means, "My God, My God, why hast Thou forsaken Me?" ...

And Jesus uttered a loud cry, and breathed His last. And the curtain of the Temple was torn in two, from top to bottom. And when the centurion, who stood facing Him, saw that He thus breathed His last, he said, "Truly this man was the Son of God!"
(Mark 15:33-34,37-39 RSV)

To love is to deny yourself.
It is to do what's right.
It is to have faith in God's providence.
In His divine plan.
No matter how hard
No matter how painful
No matter the distance

Forgiveness ...

"As God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you"
(Colossians 3:12-13).

They say the bible's meaning of the word forgiveness is to abandon, to send away, to leave alone. True forgiveness is a releasing they say. If we wait till we feel like forgiving, it may never happen. Instead, we must choose to forgive. God will deal with whatever else that needs to be done.

They say forgiving doesn't mean to condone one's behaviour. It just means to release a person so God could deal with the person.

They say we should choose to forgive as Jesus forgave us. We should choose to release the offense. We should choose to believe the truth of The Word of God - that He will heal our wounds over the painful shouts of our emotions. The Holy Spirit will help us as we make it a matter of will. As we walk in obedience to God's command, eventually we'll find ourselves truly free.

Quotes ..

"You play the hand you're dealt. I think the game's worthwhile."

"In the morning, I need twenty minutes to cry, to wake up and make that shift, you know, and to just say, "This really sucks"...to really allow yourself the feeling of loss, even two years later...still needs to be acknowledged."

"There will be ups and there will be downs, there will be times when things make sense, there will be times when they won't, but you'll always be on an adventure of meaning if you live for self, family, and others. "

Christopher Reeve

It is easier to ignore man,
than to ignore God.

but it takes more faith - and therefore, harder -
to believe in man,
than to believe in God.

Truth revealed ...

The authors of the new book "Crap Jobs" took an unscientific email survey among people in the United Kingdom, asking them to list what they thought were the worst jobs in their homeland. And, as one might imagine, the Brits came through with some rather candid responses.

When all the ballots were counted, there it was for all to see: Listed just below phone sex operator (No. 1) and ferry cabin cleaner (No. 2), was being an IT manager (No. 3).

from ITManagersJournal.com

W. Maathai

"Women, I think, have a capacity to care for others, to see beyond personal gain. Many women, I believe, are at their happiest and best when they are serving. I myself am at my happiest and my best when I am serving."

"I wish that women were not so underprivileged. They have no political power and no economic power - no power to change history and shape destiny. They need to search for that something in themselves that enables them to care beyond themselves ... to see what makes them a caring and concerned lot. They need to see that it can be strengthened, not abandoned or called something else - and to turn this awareness into power."

"I do think, however, that this will be hard, because if you really don't care about personal gain, you don't pursue political power the way some men do - I think you deliberately refuse to pursue it. And then, of course, we are put at a political disadvantage."

From You Strike The Woman an article about Wangari Maathai (Nobel Peace Prize Winner 2004)

W. Maathai is the first woman in central or eastern Africa to hold a Ph.D., first woman head of a university department in Kenya, first African woman to win the Nobel Prize in Peace.

Her husband divorced her in the 1980s, complaining that she was "too educated, too strong, too successful, too stubborn and too had to control." (quote from Encyclopedia of World Biography, 1999, Gale Group.) They had three children.

She the founded the Green Belt movement in Kenya in 1977, which has planted more than 10 million trees to prevent soil erosion and provide firewood for cooking fires. The program has been carried out primarily by women in the villages of Kenya, who through protecting their environment and through the paid employment for planting the trees are able to better care for their children and their children's future.

Glencoe - Myth & Reality

"The Master had his prey. It was to be the Macdonalds of Glencoe, not because they were the most culpable, but because they were the most vulnerable. Not only were they the smallest branch of Clan Donald, but also the narrow valley in which they made their home was a trap rather than a fortress."

Glencoe - Myth & Reality

Related Links:
The Massace of Glencoe (Wikipedia)
The Glencoe Massacre (Tartans.com)

"Love without religion is the plucked rose.

Religion without love--there is no such thing.

Religion is the bush that bears all the roses; for religion is the natural condition of man in relation to the eternal facts, that is, the truths, of his own being.

To live is to love; there is no life but love.

What shape the love puts on, depends on the persons between whom is the relation.

The poorest love with religion, is better, because truer, therefore more lasting, more genuine, more endowed with the possibility of persistence--that is, of infinite development, than the most passionate devotion between man and woman without it."

George MacDonald

Breaking Murphy's Law

A mathematician, a psychologist and an economist commissioned by British Gas have finally put into mathematical terms what we all knew: that things don't just go wrong, they do so at the most annoying moment.

The formula, ((U+C+I) x (10-S))/20 x A x 1/(1-sin(F/10)), indicates that to beat Murphy's Law (a.k.a. Sod's Law) you need to change one of the parameter: U for urgency, C for complexity, I for importance, S for skill, F for frequency and A for aggravation. Or in the researchers' own words: "If you haven't got the skill to do something important, leave it alone. If something is urgent or complex, find a simple way to do it. If something going wrong will particularly aggravate you, make certain you know how to do it."

Don't you like it when maths back up common sense ?

Fuel Subsidies Begin To Take Toll in Asia

Costly fuel subsidies are creating budgetary pressures for Asiangovernments, raising the odds that this year's rise in oil prices willcause long-term damage even if prices retreat soon.

Most major countries -- including the U.S. -- don't normally intervene toinfluence the prices of gasoline or other fuels. But in developing Asia, many governments use subsidies and other methods to shield consumers fromunexpected swings in energy costs.

Those supports have helped Asia maintain a higher rate of economic growththan the rest of the world this year. But as oil prices remain high, thesubsidies are beginning to take a toll.

In Indonesia, ballooning oil subsidies are expected to cost the government more than $6 billion in 2004 -- far more than the world's fourth most populous nation will spend on health and education combined. That costpresents a challenge for incoming President Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono, whohas made dealing with oil subsidies a top priority when he takes office Oct. 20. Deadly riots triggered by a fuel-price increase in 1998 helped cause the collapse of former President Suharto's authoritarian regime.

Even so, many economists say their biggest worries concern Indonesia and Thailand. Despite being East Asia's only member of the Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries, Indonesia has seen its oil production fall sharply in recent years, thanks to a lack of new investment and the depletion of many older fields.

This year, the production decline has turned Indonesia into a net importer for the first time. The result is that the deeply indebted country is spending billions of dollars to fix the price of petroleum fuels at levels that are as much as 60% below world prices. Economists are particularly disturbed by the practice because the subsidies benefit middle-class drivers of cars far more than the poor who truly need government aid.

From the Wall Street Journal.

Book Review ...

ChristianityToday has a book review on Woman, Thou Art Loosed: Healing the Wounds of the Past which I find interesting.

Read more.

Chinese Football

Goal.com has an interesting editorial on the state of Chinese football:

[ Yang Zuwu, general manager of Super League side Beijing Hyundai, says that China’s professional league was facing collapse because of rampant corruption and match-fixing. Yang claimed that faked matches, black whistles (corrupt referees), betting on games and other ugly phenomena were increasing. More than one billion yuan ($120 million) had been invested in China’s professional soccer league since it was established more than a decade ago. "Considering the results, the injection of so much money has not been worthwhile," he told CCTV. ]

JPG's Comments: If the editorial is right, then there's still hope for Chinese football. The Chinese football industry runs on marketing and merchandising money. In other words, the fans has the ultimate control eventually. If the fans can really gather enough political power, some (good) things can get done.

Did you know that ...

Japan has the most advanced high-tech toilets worldwide ?

"Most high-tech toilets also provide the option to select the water pressure to adjust to the preferences of the user. Usually, the temperature of the water can also be adjusted. The exact nozzle position can also often be adjusted forward or aft manually. High-end washlets also provide options for a vibrating and pulsating jet of water.

A second commonly found feature is a blow drier, often adjustable between 40°C and 60°C to dry the private regions after cleaning with the integrated bidet. Other features may include a seat heating which may be adjustable from 30°C to 40°C, an automatic opening and closing of the toilet lid based on a proximity sensor, automatic flushing of the toilet, automatic air deodorizer, and a germ resistant surface.

Recently, researchers have added medical sensors into these toilets, which can measure the blood sugar based on the urine, and also measure the pulse, blood pressure, and the body fat content of the user. Other measurements are currently researched. This data may automatically be sent to a doctor through a network."

Now how about one that greets you, reads the news and your e-mails for you?

Why didn't I think of this one ?

GMail Drive is a Shell Namespace Extension that creates a virtual filesystem around your Google GMail account, allowing you to use GMail as a storage medium.

GMail Drive creates a virtual filesystem on top of your Google GMail account and enables you to save and retrieve files stored on your GMail account directly from inside Windows Explorer. GMail Drive literally adds a new drive to your computer under the My Computer folder, where you can create new folders, copy and drag'n'drop files to.

From http://www.viksoe.dk/code/gmail.htm

Throwing Choice Away

The truly brave man is not the man who chooses to stay in the battle, but the one who sees that he has been chosen to fight and who has given up any choice to run away. The faithful husband is precisely he for whom infidelity has ceased to be a choice. The vagabond monks of Benedict’s day were caught in the trap of their ceaseless choosing; only with that wise vow of stability, which is a wise and brave tossing of choice to the winds, could a monk begin to climb the mountain of God.

The adventure of the family is that it has not been planned, engineered. Insofar as one plans a family, one plans not a family but a narcissistic extension of oneself, a sort of dreary cloning, or at best a selfish concession of some, but only some, of one’s time and love. Everything ought to be reasonable, we insist, meaning that everything ought reasonably to come to its senses and conform safely to the pleasures of our wills.

But, says Chesterton, “Aunt Elizabeth is unreasonable, like mankind. Papa is excitable, like mankind. Our youngest brother is mischievous, like mankind. Grandpa is stupid, like the world; he is old, like the world.” We plan parenthood, because we wish to shut out that world, too alive and too muscular for our weak nerves.

If you plan to be surprised, you will not be surprised. If you choose joy, it is not joy. If you plot out the turns of an adventure, you are on no adventure. Worse, you make it difficult for yourself to wake from your sleep and see that adventures are crouching out there to get you. A merchant does not buy a costly pearl and bury it in a field so that he may discover it. Not one of the prophets applied for the position. If you are going to be God’s delegate—and in some fashion we are all so called to be—then by definition the choice is not yours, nor will be the time and the manner and the means.

What Chesterton says about orthodoxy is true about the wisdom of tossing choice away: As the real excitement is not in the chosen heresy but in riding the unchosen and unutterable truth, so the most glorious life awaits beyond the reserve of decision.

To see and to live is better than to choose; to ride the adventure of faith and hope and love is better than to plot your course to the Fortunate Isles, those illusions. Only an ingrate will not accept a gift, and if I decide what you are to give me, I am just such an ingrate. Heaven itself is God’s choice and not mine, and for that I am grateful. Quite a fit place for myself in the hereafter could I design, with features all of my own choosing. A tight and fit little place would it be, but it would have that unmistakable tang of char breathed out from a reptilian belly.

Read the entire article at: TouchStone Magazine.

First Things First

From October 2004 Touchstone Magazine's Editorial, on the US Election:

If we are serious about a just and humane society, we must defend marriage and human life above all, both in public and in private. All other matters are secondary. Not to put life and marriage first and not to let the candidates’ positions on them determine our vote is to become like the people of whom it was written, “They feared the Lord, but served their own gods” (2 Kings 17:33).

No amount of health insurance, of support for religious freedom in other countries, of ways to end the conflict in the Middle East, or of AIDS drugs will protect us from the short- and long-term consequences of supporting candidates who will not protect life and marriage. A society in which vulnerable human life is not protected and in which marriage is made irrelevant is a society that will not long continue to care for the freedom, peace, and health of others.

Powerful words. Very refreshing indeed.

I ♥ Huckabees

From The Movie Director who Made Me a Priest:

Jesus would say this is true: If your spirituality is about your ego, then your spirituality is fake. Our ego likes to control things, to have certainty. Certainty is very useful. If it wasn't, we'd be sitting in our own excrement. But, that certainty can really close your mind off to the true light of Jesus and to the truth about what is. This film is about "departure points"—departures from certainty and the ego.

The whole idea ... is this: When you're stuck in traffic, and you're cursing ... at that moment you think that that's what your life is about. If Jesus was there, he'd say to you every two minutes, "Child, what do you think you are right now?"

I've got to read you a quote! This is a quote from W. H. Auden: "We would rather be ruined than changed. We would rather die in our dread than climb the cross of the moment and let our illusions die."

The right to bleed

I can't stand to fly
I'm not that naive
I'm just out to find
The better part of me

It may sound absurd, but don't be naive
Even Heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed, but won't you conceed
Even Heroes have the right to dream

I'm only a man
Digging ... on this one way street
Only a man
Looking for special things inside of me

It's not easy to be me.

~ Five for Fighting

Comments: I've always been intrigued with this song because it expresses very well the pain of growing - when an individual is struggling to find the balance between the expectation of others and his own desires and self needs.

havin fun (again)

I haven't had this much fun developing anything in a long time. I have to admit that I miss it. It being that feeling of total isolation from what's outside me mental world, being the privilege of having your own time totally to yourself, of having only one clear goal ahead of you: to get the thing implemented.

I realize that it's when I focus that I get to be really creative and innovative.

Tried out Eclipse 3.0 today with MyEclipse 3.81 and VSSPlugin 1.60 to go along with it. I re-created my development environment there - the Weblogic shortcuts, the browser shortcuts for development/debuggin, the multiple ant buildfiles and their mappings to the Eclipse IDE and all. At the end of it all, I feel all nice and comfty. I got a home to start doing some real development work :)

Talking about stars...

"It's not a disgrace to not reach the stars, it is a disgrace to not have stars to reach for".

The statement above is loaded with assumptions and this leads to many possible interpretations for the statement.

There are three possible interpretations that I can think of.

First, one must not waste life by not doing anything with it, i.e. one should always make best use of one's life.

I'm okay with that.

Second, one must not be stagnant and not grow, i.e. one should always improve oneself.

I agree with that too.

Third, one must have goals, ambitions, and dreams, it is wrong otherwise.

With this, I wholeheartedly disagree.

Goals, ambitions, and dreams are motivators. When we say that it is disgraceful to not have them, we say that it is disgraceful to not be driven by them.

I beg to differ.

I know people who are very committed, dedicated, and extremely good in what they do. They have no explicit goals, ambitions or dreams to drive them. They have no need to be driven; they have no need to be motivated. They love what they do so much that they are not idling, and they continuously improve simply by doing what they do every day. They are loving people, they are very humble, they are content with what they do, they are not disgraceful in any way.

I think the subtle concept is the emphasis on being over doing.

These people I spoke of are very confident with who they are, what they do, and who they're doing it for. They'e found their thing. They have found their true identity. They seek no other - they've found their true joy. They are meek, they are gentle, and in a way, they are very Christ-like in nature. What they do is a natural outcome of who they are.

The topic of being over doing is a heavy one and I should not discuss that in detail here. But just to highlight the significance of this concept, I'd like to mention that there are many things that we often do to define ourselves. These attempts include conjuring up ambitions, dreams, goals, in order to fill the hole that the lack of true identity has left behind. Sometimes the religious pursuit of pseudo cultural values, pseudo belief systems, pseudo relationships, and pseudo communities fill that hole too, and all this pseudo-ness is the cause of much conflict and despair in our lives.

With pseudo (i.e. falsehood) I mean we do not really know the true value of having those cultural values, belief systems, relationships, or communities outside of our feeling that it is wrong to not have them. We feel that abandoning them is great wrong because we have tightly coupled our identities with these pseudo-stuff.

It is not easy to let go of all this pseudo-stuff especially when we've lived most of our lives relying on them to give us identity. We have incorrectly relied too much on points of references that are outside ourselves to tell us who we are where we would have been better of looking deep inside ourselves and to find that true identity. Often we even hide behind the pretense of defending these pseudo-stuff to justify our wrong actions, and we instinctively do so because these pseudo-stuff are tightly bound with the false identities that we have been so intimate with.

I believe the letting go of the pseudo-stuff is what Jesus meant in Luke 14:27 ("Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple"). We are called to sacrifice the pseudo relationships, cultural values, belief systems that are keeping us away from finding our true identities, that are keeping us from Christ-likeness. In a way, we are all in this together. Each of us are carrying our own unique cross, yet we are all called to be like Him by acknowleding who we are in all our brokenness and deficiencies, by sacrificing our egos, our false identities, in order to find our true identities - as children of God.

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teamwork...

he's got the experience, the years of service at big MNCs..

i've got the tenacity, and the innate desire to get things done right and systematically..

whenever we come to a problem, the first thing that come to his mind is how to get it done the simplest way possible. the first thing that come to my mind are all the different angles, the priorities, how we're going to manage this, and what approach we're going to take.

"how to get things done" is not top in my priority because i know things can be done.

his weakness is that he may come to a solution that does not meet all the objectives..

my weakness is that i may be too slow in coming up with a practical solution and my insistence of having a systematic approach to things might just bog the team down with lots of overhead.

his strength is his ability to solve things by keeping things simple

my strength is my ability to find a bigger box, a bigger picture, a more complete picture than what is apparent.

can we really work together ?

i hope so.

When helping hurts

Sensitivity has two distinct meanings. One is emotional awareness and accurate perception. To be sensitive is to be able to experience fully and correctly. But the second meaning of sensitivity is vulnerability to pain. Often these two forms of sensitivity exist side by side in us. .. because we are sensitive, we pay a price -sooner or later.

When the price is vicarious or secondary traumatic stress disorder (STSD) the pattern is primarily fear, unwanted memory, and preoccupation with another's pain. When the price is Compassion Fatigue, a similar set of symptoms, the pattern is tiredness, emotional depletion, from too much caring and too little self-caring.

The price of Burnout is paid after weeks or months on the job, with relentless responsibility and few emotional rewards. We are past anxiety, guilt and pain. Past sensitivity. We drink, we shout, we resent. We lack humor, tact and grace. Cynicism is our defense against ourselves.

STSD, Compassion Fatigue, Burnout - How do we prevent it? How do we intervene? How do we cope? Above all, be aware. The signs are not that subtle, but we .. are notorious for seeing problems in others and not in ourselves. Have contacts and conversations with peers who are willing to tell us when to take a break. Take a break. Practice what you preach: good meals, sufficient rest, exercise, and alteration of routine. Dr. Carl Bell advises, "good sex." (And he isn't selling Viagra).

Good humor is a gift. But it may not be easy to find a way to smile on this job. ... The homilies about stress reduction may not work when symptoms are entrenched, when the job tension is inescapable.

Clearly, there is no single prescription for the hurting that comes with helping others. So many people, so many professions are affected and afflicted: clergy, nurses, teachers, truckers - to name some who were not named before. Everyone who moves toward the scene to help, everyone who comforts someone who was there, everyone who listens closely, with sensitivity, is a potential casualty. But every one of us is also a source of comfort, information and inspiration.

From http://www.giftfromwithin.org/pdf/helping.pdf

Maturity Levels

Levels of Maturity - by Jeannette Santino, MS, C

As humans we all display various levels of maturity in our behavior. Many adults never develop beyond a childhood level of functioning and some teenagers’ function at the adult level early on.

...

As I see it, there are seven levels of maturity. They are, Infant, Toddler, Child, Adolescent, Adult, Master, and Angelic or God-like. I feel that man, in his imperfect state, can with some effort attain to the Master level of maturity.

...

People that have reached the Adult level of maturity emphasize "being" over "doing". Quality rather than quantity. They are stable. Instead of complaining, they have the capacity to forgive themselves and others. They live by the principle that they cannot harm others without somehow harming themselves in the process.

...

Masters are quietly powerful. Masters maintain a balance of emotions, rationality, and action. They display wisdom and are only interested in the truth. While not perfect, they have mastered their negative personality traits so they no longer are controlled them. They are motivated by love and compassion rather than money, fame, or power. While having righteous indignation, they neither judge nor condemn. They have a genuine love for people in all walks of life, and leave judging up to a Higher Power.

...

You may read the full article at: http://www.naturalhealthweb.com/articles/santino1.html

Big Brother is Back

[For 13 years, a powerful group of car manufacturers, technology companies and government interests has fought to bring this system to life. They envision a future in which massive databases will track the comings and goings of everyone who travels by car or mass transit.]

[The only way for people to evade the national transportation tracking system they're creating will be to travel on foot. Drive your car, and your every movement could be recorded and archived. The federal government will know the exact route you drove to work, how many times you braked along the way, the precise moment you arrived -- and that every other Tuesday you opt to ride the bus.]

[More than $4 billion in federal tax dollars has already been spent to lay the foundation for this system. Some of the technologies it will use to track our movements are already familiar to the public, like the GPS technology.]

[By 2010, automakers hope to start installing them in cars. The goal is to equip 57 million vehicles by 2015.]

You can read this at: Big Brother in Your Car

We're beaten (finally)

Indonesia has lost its rank as the world leader in fraudulent electronic transactions. The top place has gone to Cameroon (100% fraudulent transactions). Nigeria trails in second place with 96%; Indonesia follows with 93%, according to Verisign.

Lately I've been feeling as though I'm a toddler again. I'm learning how to walk, how to talk, what to do almost everything, all over again.

I'm frail and vulnerable - all over again.

I know I used to be so sure of everything, even if i'm unsure, I would say that I'm at least sure about what I'm unsure about, and that I'm still sure how to manage and deal with the situation. I always say,"I'll figure out a way", as though I know for sure things will beokay.

But now it's different. The world is a strange new place. The world is neither foreign nor familiar. The world is just simply not-that-known anymore to me.

I guess when I was so sure before, I was only afraid to admit that I am unsure.

When I say "the world", I mean everything that is outside myself. Imean the people around me. I mean their thoughts and behaviours. I mean every single thing that happens.

I notice that in my every action, I see no motivation to rush, nomotivation to make things happen, no motivation to convince, nomotivation to convert, no motivation to drive, no motivation to perform any change outside what is natural.

I notice that in my every action, I see a great desire to observe the world - for learning's sake.

I admit that I'm unsure and that I am certain of nothing, yet I am perfectly fine with that; instead, I take delight in that. Like alittle kid who's just been dropped off in an ice-cream shop, and being told that everything that his desires are the limits.

Now I care not about what I think people expect me to say and do. Withall these strings cut away, some part of me feels that I've totally lost my way. I don't know how to do things anymore. But other parts of me feel that I've been totally liberated. I no longer have the fearo f telling people that I don't know and that I need their help. I no longer have the need to do anything. I owe nothing to anyone. I'm free.

I have lost all that I usually have to say as well. With everythingaround me so not-that-known (in a very unintriquing, strange, and coldway), I don't know what to say anymore other than the emotions I feel, the sights I see, the sounds I hear, and all that I sense through my five senses.

The things that I usually care much about mean nothing to me. Things that I didn't realize I cared so much about now mean the world to me.

And I think that's the way it should be.

There's peace in emptiness. in silence. in the death of certain things.

There's joy in what's left after certain things have passed away.