with great power comes great responsibility...

"the movie's central emotional tussle is the doomed, yearning love between Pete and Mary Jane. When one is available, the other isn't. ... it looks like they'll never get it together."
~ The Washington Post

"Being Spider-Man is a burden. Because he's always chasing police sirens, ... and, most significantly, can't be with the great love of his life, Mary Jane Watson."
~ u.sbsun.com

---

The reviews seem to say that this is the most 'emotional' comic-superhero movie ever. A superhero dilemma turned masterpiece.

Peter Parker has an crisis: to choose between 'his calling' (i.e. to save the world), and the love of his life (i.e. Mary Jane). Peter couldn't tell MJ everything that he does - because it's a totally different world. Peter couldn't even tell MJ that he loves her.

I really got to see this movie :)

Pindahan is so hard to do...

I have too many books :| ... When I have my own place, I'll probably just get a room for my own study room and just stuff all my books there....

So far I have 5 boxes + 1 huge bag of books 2 suitcases of clothes.. 1 notebook, 2 desktop PCs.. a printer, a set of speakers, a toaster, satu patung gajah, 2 patung dolphins, satu patung 3 orang lagi sitting on top of each other (i've always wondered why on earth would anyone do that.. hmmm)..

anyway, my nose started to itch (i'm allergic to dust) so i took a break and did the quiz.

And it turns out that I'm a ... *drum roll* ...

YELLOW You are very perceptive and smart. You are clear and to the point and have a great sense of humor. You are always learning and searching for understanding.

Although we're unlikely to enjoy God's discipline, we're told that it trains us for right and holy living (vv.7-11). Rather than resisting God's correction, we can yield to Him, confident that His goal is our spiritual growth. Whatever our circumstances, God knows the seriousness of our difficulties and is working powerfully behind the scenes for our good.

God's loving hand of discipline
May give us little rest;
His only purpose is our good --
He wants for us what's best. ~ D. De Haan

From Our daily bread - 24 June 2004.

:)

good news! the backup tape is read! piet, you're a life-saver!! what would we do without you ?

we tried the utp cable but the NIC was faulty. we tried the USB thumbdrive, but the linux kernel they have doesn't support USB. we tried the serial terminal but we couldn't get the configurations from the previous vendor..

yesterday we hacked into the previous vendor's backup scripts and reverse-engineered how they did it, and told you over the phone to use 'dd' instead of 'tar'. and voila!! :)

after receiving the news from you, i actually jumped!, gave high-fives to the guys.. and shook their hands to congratulate them.. *hehehehe*

on another note, this morning i had problems accepting a change in team organization. i realized that's because this means that i have to abandon some of the work that i've done. but now i see that it's for the best .. and actually this opens up lots of other opportunities.. too... we're finally merging our code-bases to have a standard product! wow ;]

God, you're wonderful!

SpaceShipOne Makes History

The world witnessed the dawn of a new space age today, as investor and philanthropist Paul G. Allen and Scaled Composites launched the first private manned vehicle beyond the Earth�s atmosphere. The successful launch demonstrated that the final frontier is now open to private enterprise.

"Our success proves without question that manned space flight does not require mammoth government expenditures," Rutan declared. "It can be done by a small company operating with limited resources and a few dozen dedicated employees."

From: www.scaled.com

I've been thinking of what to write for days.
I just can't find the words to describe it.
I've been happy before, but never this happy.

They say when you find true love, you find completeness.

But you see, I found more than that.

I found God's love
God's faithfulness.
God's peace.

I found the future.
Its beauty.
Its completeness.

I found the treasure of a lifetime

I found eternity.

The world's first 70 megapixel - 360 degree digital camera with 20x zoom!!

the search for the camera.

i'm a big fan of sony - always have always will be - just like i'm a fan of starbucks coffee, ibm thinkpads, and my mom's ayam bakar kecap. hehehe..

sony has several models:

the U models are at the lower end - they have 2 mega pixel resolutions for those of you who just want to try out a digital camera - they go for about SGD 200-300.

the W model has a wide 2.5" LCD screen - pretty neat and pretty powerful. the ones i saw have 5 megapixel resolutions but i haven't found any reviews yet (i think it's just recently entered the market).

the T model is all about sTyle. it has this the ulTra slim and sexy look and feel that makes you go 'ooooo' and 'aaaaah' and 'can i touch ? please.. please.. pleease?'

the V model is all about performance. i notice some features that i totally know nothing about (fyi, i know zilch about photography) such as nightframings, "vario sonar" lenses and all.

the F model is for perFectionsists - professionals who want 8 megapixel digital cameras and all the neat toys that come along with them. btw, they cost a bomb too.

then there's the P model. it's adorable. it's lightweight. it's intelligent. it's the kind of camera that i'd like to call friend. it has a tiny LCD screen - you won't be playing movies here so the screen is fine. the P model is designed to simPlify digital photography with a lot of Power and all with such great Price. people have been raving bout them as the neatest greatest little cameras around. they for somewhere between SGD 500-800 depending on features and stuff.

there are several P model cameras out there. the higher end P model is the DSC-P100. it's a 5.1 mp camera with a price tag of about SGD 800. It has a sleek slim aluminium body and it comes in 3 colors (silver, red, and blue). this baby is pricey because of her looks - not the kind of camera i'd like to get.

the P model camera that really got my attention is the DSC-P73. it's 4.1 megapixel resolution is good enough for my needs. it has an intelligent auto-focus and auto-exposure system, a 3x optical zoom lense too, and the price is just right too!

what can I say ? she's the one!

Her name is d, and she's the closest i have to a younger sister. she's pretty and smart and bright and cheerful, and she's coming to singapore to see me graduate, and to see singapore too.

i got a soft-spot for younger sisters - because i've wanted one when i was a kid but i got a younger brother instead. not that my younger bro is unwanted, he's awesome! but i've always wondered what life would be if i have a younger sis.

*seneng nih*

Kabalarians: "Your name of Johan is a dual influence: at times you can be extremely happy, expressive, full of fun, and good-natured; yet at other times you find congenial association impossible, being controlled by self-pity, moods, and depression. If you could express only the constructive qualities and restrain the negative qualities of your nature, you would always be good company. These contrasting qualities make it difficult for people to understand you and can lead to friction in your personal life. You are deep, philosophical, and refined, but your extremely sensitive nature causes you to become depressed over any real or imagined slight."

SpyMac

You guys have really got to check Spymac out!!

Lunchtime quiet time

The farewell lunch for "Miss 9/10" is postponed till tomorrow because she's on MC today. I could have gone to the bank to handle my brother's exchange program funds today, but I decided to stay in for lunch. I want to just sit down and think - haven't had much time for that lately.

My thinking got me to my favourite website on leadership and management, i.e. BuildingChurchLeaders.com - the church leadership branch of christianitytoday - meant for pastors and church administrators. I found that the learnings there can be applicable in a lot of places, and they're 'christian-perspective'-based too.

Anyway, feel free to browse through that website when you have time - it's pretty refreshing :)

ps. I was reading on vision and ambition.

*ouch* ..

IT Support and Services idea down the drain dech.. These guys are already doing this full-scale.... hmmm.. hmmm.. a different model though - but they're using $$$ to market in the papers and such .. hmmm.. hmm.. maybe this is the one that should have been killed a long time ago.

Fly me to the moon
Let me sing among those stars
Let me see what spring is like
On jupiter and mars

...

Fill my heart with song
Let me sing for ever more
You are all I long for
All I worship and adore

:: fly me to the moon ~ frank sinatra

I've been getting a series of good news lately.

Friends of mine just informed me that they're expecting a baby!

while another couple has just announced their marriage and is inviting me to a little lunch on the 10th of July..

how neat is that ?

i've always said that I want to build my career around IT Education and IT Healthcare. I have an idea of the it healthcare side - i've known what i want to do and what's missing - but that's always been in the Indonesia front.

the education front is interesting. recently I got the opportunity to spearhead atsuma in the S3G project - and it's happening right here in singapore. Those of you who've been in contact with me would probably have heard me talking about it.

those of you who've been in contact with me would also know that i'm a person who likes to take my chances - and God does bless me with chances and opportunities. my problem, however, is resource management. i.e. when i've gotten my plate full with so many of 'these chances', i have to kill underperformers so i can grow the ones with potential.

the effort put into S3G is substantial - the people we're working with is dead serious about putting in resources. and for once i believe in the business model - i believe that we can really pull this one off. and i really like the idea that the bulk of the investment isn't dollars of cents, but in hard work, mind work, and heart work.

but when the funds do get in and we go live, it'll be time for me to kill a few of the underperformers. and i have to decide now - so that i can ease the pain for the people affected.

which shall i kill ?

From M1's webpage:

M1 002 IDD rates from Singapore

to Indonesia:: Peak (SGD 1.15 per min), Non-Peak (SGD 0.90 per min)
to USA:: Peak (SGD 0.38 per min), Non-Peak (SGD 0.36 per min)

This is even neater SGD 0.05 per minute!!!

My other leave request was also approved :) My parents are flying in on the 7th, and the ceremony will be on the 9th morning. So I'll be taking these three days off for the graduation ceremonies!

Oh I got to get a digital camera!

Lots has happened since those horrible days of torture and agony. But it feels kinda nice now. Everything is in place.

God, You've kept your promise - thank you - now I have to keep mine :)

Hello JPG

Your Annual Leave application has been approved.

The following are your leave details.
Date Applied : 14/Jun/2004
From Date : 16/Dec/2004
To Date : 31/Dec/2004
Day Type : FD (Full Day)

*oh senangnya..*

I love my job! :)

"Sometimes you have not even begun to speak - and I am at the end of what you are saying."

"You listen to so much more than I can say. You hear consciousness. You go with me where the words I say can’t carry you."

"Each and every one of us, dear Mary, must have a resting place somewhere. The resting place of my soul is a beautiful grove where my knowledge of you lives."

"I care about your happiness just as you care about mine. I could not be at peace if you were not."

"The most wonderful thing, Mary, is that you and I are always walking together, hand in hand, in a strangely beautiful world, unknown to other people. We both stretch one hand to receive from Life - and Life is generous indeed."

:: Kahlil Gibran to Mary Haskell, in Love Letters.

I picture you across the ocean
In your corner of the world
I pray the wind will blow my voice
And gently whisper in your ear
Your night may be my day
And though the seasons change

It's still the same side of the moon
That we'll be looking on when the world turns blue
And know that time and space can't come between me and you

I know I can't be that far from you
If we're both looking on the same side of the moon

:: same side of the moon ~ corrinne may

If a picture paints a thousand words,
Then why can't I paint you?
The words will never show the you I've come to know.

...

If a man could be two places at one time,
I'd be with you.
Tomorrow and today, beside you all the way.

...

'Pick and Drop'

BBC NEWS: "Dr Rekimoto's lab has extended the drag and drop technique used in most PC software to create a 'pick and drop' technique.

So the owner of a handheld computer can pick up a file from their device, using a special pen, and drop it onto the screen of another computer, by placing the pen on its screen."

Comments:

This was my idea!!! :-) I remember those late nights in the labs when I was working with 2 PCs or more.. I wished it'd be that easy to copy from one PC and paste in another.. Bravo Dr. Rekimoto!!! Keep up the good work :)

Find me... look hard, and don't stop,
I'll be waiting 'till then
Don't sleep, and don't eat
'till I'm back,
back in your arms again.

I don't wanna have to spend
all my forever without you.
Just knowing that you're out there somewhere too.
So darlin'...please I'm begging you on bended knee...

Find me...

:: find me ~ david gates

Temenku yang i've been providing free technical consultation to has convinced his boss that i need to be paid for my services - either as a full time employee for him or as a part-time consultant.

aku sebenarnya lagi gak nyari kerjaan baru - soalnya i love my current job. cuma saja i think i've come to a point where my advancement and my learning depends entirely on the 'natural growth' of the company. when ini kompani dapet bisnis baru dan expand to new territories, yah aku get to grow. kalau gak, yah ...

well i shouldn't worry about that, soalnya banyak new projects yang akan datang.. that should keep me busy and interested till year end. :)

but what happens after that ?

soalnya i'm basically the "for the challenge" type of a guy - i guess my specialization is in providing that 'x-factor' yang comes out naturally kalau ada something new and exciting to do.

mr. H recently told me "i cannot give tasks to you, because you're the type who goes out there and take initiatives. so.. i have to take a different approach with you.. you have to tell me what you want to do."

so.. what is it what i want to do ? ...

i guess life just have to get more and more exciting nih :)

Potential Customer:Can your pigs fly? we need flying pigs!

Salesperson: Well, our pigs cannot fly right at present, but we can customize them for you. Our ranchers do this all the time.

Potential Customer: And you'll need more time to do the customization, right?

Salesperson: Yes of course, but it's no big deal. we do that all the time. in fact we've met other people who wants flying pigs; it's pretty common in the industry. so you don't have to worry, we know what we're doing. *smile*

Can I say this ?

I think you're perfect.
I think you're wonderful.
I think what we have is amazing!!
and will only get better.

and what's most amazing is..
I know you feel the same way.

God must really be in love with me :)

His strength ...

... assures me that God has provided me with every blessing in abundance. By His grace, I have everything I need (2 Corinthians 9:8).

The apostle Paul was not saying that we have enough grace to do anything we want to do. God does not offer us a blank check. No, Paul was giving us the assurance that we have enough grace to do whatever God has called us to do ...

God uses us to do His work
If we will just obey;
He freely gives His love and power
To serve Him every day.

From Our Daily Bread.

The "Friend" in me.

I couldn't sleep so I caught some Friends episodes. Half way through an episode, I asked myself.. hey! Let's find out which "Friend" I resemble the most!.. You know I've always thought I'm a Ross. So I tried two "which Friend" quizes, and the results bug me.. they say I'm a Chandler... hmmmm.. ... Moi ? A Mr. Bing ? ..



From The Baltimore Sun:

You're like Chandler, sometimes serious, usually not, with a self-deprecating sense of humor.

From Web.Tickle.Com:

Could you be any more like Chandler? The most lovable wiseguy around, you've got more than a little Bing inside you, don't 'cha? Front and center in your Chandler-ness is that unstoppable wit, keeping everyone in stitches (or at least deflecting uncomfortable situations). And like the Chan-Chan man, you'd never leave your pals out in the cold. But your generosity is so inconspicuous that people often don't even notice it.

Romantically, a soft, sweet, heart and charming, insecurity rule. You might, however, be held back from love by that nagging little fear of, well, growing up. Ya think? But, like the adorable Mr. Bing himself, it's just because you care so much and don't want to let anyone down.

What do you guys think?

I'd like to wish Donald Fauntleroy Duck a very happy 70th birthday. May you live long and prosper, and may you continue to brighten the lives of many young (and not-so-young) children out there.



Keep up the good work!

Insights...

I have learned that it doesn't matter where you place the code, as long as your developers know where to find it, and know what is affected when it is changed.

I have learned that being a control freak and being a developer do not really go well together. There are times when you just have to let things happen, because we don't build systems you see, we grow them.

(Just spent an entire day tracing codes ... )

New Horizon

I really have to blog this down.

I love my job. I love what I'm doing with my life. I love where I'm going to live (that new apartment). I have a new system for sending 'keepalive messages' to friends and relatives.

A few weeks ago I felt chaotic, like there're so many balls to juggle, and it's hard for me to enjoy anything. I was greedy back then trying out new things because I was thirsty for something, and my thirst wasn't quenched.

But then things changed.

There's this new serene feeling that I'm am part of a big masterplan. I have become more selective in choosing what I work on. I have become more focused. I have become more relaxed. I think i've just found a pattern that can lengthen my lifespan ... :-]

Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think of the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion's starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere.

Often it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there - fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the twin towers, as far as I know none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge - they were all messages of love. And if you look for it, I've got a sneaking suspicion that love actually is all around.

A Day to Remember

Today is a special day! urmmm... Transit of Venus anyone?



The transit of venus is when Venus comes in between the Sun and the Earth. The transits happen in pairs and pairs are separated by more than a century. The last transits occured in 1874 and 1882. the next one will be in 2012, 2117 and 2125.

Neat stuff!

Ora et Labora

That black banner with two hands clasping together in praying position has been on the wall in my dad's study for years. I remember seeing when I was just a little boy no older than 5 years old. I know I saw it last year when I came home.

The black banner has this slogan on it Ora et Labora, which literally means "pray and work", the motto of the Benedictine Order - one of the oldest monastic orders founded by St. Benedict in 529.

My parents probably have not heard of St. Benedict, but Ora et Labora still means a lot to them. In a way, God has a special place in their lives, and it's not surprising if you know them. God has a long history with my mom and dad. It all started when they were young I guess; they were Sunday school teachers, and they've always believed in a partnership between God and them.

The partnership worked out really well. One thing for sure, though they started out with almost nothing when they got married, they've never had problems putting food on the table, or being happy with what they have in their lives. Did I tell you why they gave me my name ? Well, my name has Hebrew origins which has the meaning "God's gracious gift." They were so overjoyed when I was born, but if you look at the name that they gave me, you'll see Who they think was responsible for for all that joy.

One of the greatest moments in this partnership when my dad received a scholarship to USC. It's the opportunity of a lifetime for him, so he went, leaving my mom, my brother, and me. Back then, I was still about 8 years old. My brother was even younger - he was 4. This happened a long time ago, way back in 1987, but I can still remember how hard it is for my mom and dad.

The distance, for one, is difficult to bear. I guess when you've been with someone for so long, you've come used to having that person to talk to, to communicate with, to share with. My mom and dad tried their best. They know that calling IDD every day would be too expensive, and back then we don't have the Internet yet, so they relied on some other mediums: namely letters and tapes.

I still remember those moments when I was so anxious to listen to my dad's voice. My mom would play the tape, and mom, my brother, and I would sit tight and listen to dad's stories. We laughed, we had fun, and it's as though he's sitting right there with us. My dad usually sends his messages in two parts: one would be the one that is for all of us, and the second part is what is for my mom's ears alone. We know when the first part is over because dad would usually tell us "kids, you have to go now, I want to talk to your mom in private.. ". Having listened to dad's voice, my mom usually would use the same tapes to record our voices, and her private message for dad, and would send the tapes along with letters back to him. This went on for quite some time; if i remember correctly, for almost two years. Until a miracle happened.

You see, my mom has been trying to get a scholarship to the US as well, because if she and dad were to study together, they'd be able to bring the entire family there and we wouldn't have to go through the letters and tapes anymore.

And guess what? a miracle did drop by, she got a scholarship to UCLA.

And so, the times of having to only hear dad's voice and read his writings have come to and end. The family finally got together again. Of course life there wasn't easy. For one, they're using funds for two to feed a family of four. Instead of staying in the university dorms, they had to get an apartment. My brother and I had to go to school. But as always, Ora et Labora works. They pray and seek God's guidance, and put in a lot of hard labor to make things work.

There are other stories to tell about my mom and dad, but the one that got the family to the US is my favourite. I guess my time in the US has been a big part of me, just as Ora et Labora is a big part of me. I also have my own stories to tell, how my life has been a series of miracles - one after another. Those of you who have listened to my stories can probably recall some of them.

In short, I've always been and will always be a big believer of God's providence, and myself having to work hard as well to do our part of the partnership. This faith in God's providence is in a way, a 'family heritage' that's always alive and gets stronger by the day. Ora et Labora.

'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD , 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future'. ~ Jeremiah 29:11

Thank You

Yes, thank you. You know who you are.

This Monday started not the way that I had wanted it. I caught a cold (the runny nose, the sore throat, the sneezes and the chills, the entire package). I had to cancel two appointments at work, including a lunch with an old chap that I've been trying to get hold of for about a month. I even learned today that a co-worker at work has been hospitalized.

It gets worse for me because I had to drag my weary self, with the runny nose and all, to a clinic just to get an MC. I was in a terrible shape; I tried smiling but smiles don't really go well with a runny nose.

But something neat happened when I was on my way back from the clinic. A man from FedEx called saying that he has a package for me. I was thrilled. I rushed home rightaway. I don't know what's inside the package; but, I have a feeling that it might be from you.

The FedEx man came to my doorstep about half an hour later, and I cannot help smiling when I read your name on the box. It really is from you. Thank you so much. In a world full of deadlines and projects and meetings and todo lists and sometimes even runny noses, it's nice to know that there's someone who understands, someone who knows, someone who cares.

So thank you very very very much

ps:

As I'm blogging, a thought came to mind. Maybe I caught the cold so that I can be at home to receive the gift :] Don't get me wrong. The gift is special. But it's even more special because I received it when I need it the most.

Is God at work here ? perhaps.

On Hibernate

Hibernate is an Object-Relational mapping tool. You see, Java Enterprise systems are designed using the Object Oriented way. Whereas databases are designed using the relational DB way. These are two different paradigms. RDBMSes consists of flat tables that relate to one another. OO is much richer than that. You have inheritance, interfaces, superclasses and subclasses. It's a nightmare to translate OO to RDBMS and vice versa.

Hibernate does all that for developers - alleviating the painful task of writing routine mundane plumbing codes just so that you can save your application data into the database. Writing SQL codes are the most tedious and painful part of Java Enterprise Application development. In FCP (our product), lots of records such as membership information, plan information, provider information and such can be 'automagically' handled by Hibernate without us writing a single line of SQL code. We instead can focus on SQL queries that require fine-tuning and complex cross-table referencings.

I had filed in a proposal to 'convert' most of our database accesses to use Hibernate. And we've went live with our feasibility/impact studies and prototyping. The result was good, and we're going to get contract staff to rebuild the system's back end within the next few months. The thing that really got people's attention is the automatic performance tuning and database-independence that Hibernate brings.

But something really amazed me today.

I was browsing theserverside.com when I found out that the EJB 3.0 specs has been announced, and they're going to drop the complex bean specs in favour of a simple POJO-based model that is no different from Hibernate!!

This is good news.

I wanted to use Hibernate because it's too hard to maintain a system full of thousands of SQL queries. We want our developers to be 'lightly loaded'. So having automagic tools like Hibernate helps. Another pet-idea of mine is to use XDoclet to automagically generate codes for us. Right now about half of our code is in the form of EJBs that can be generated automatically. I haven't gotten the chance to do feasibility study on this though.. but it'd be interesting when this happens.

Neat!

Full Article: Politically Charged EJB Decision Hands a Victory to JBoss

Back to Blue

I've completed my 'recovery period'.

The black theme has been removed.

And now I'm movin back to blue !

Pruned.

From Insight for Living - The Secret of the Fruitful Vine:
The secret of the fruitful vine, as Jesus revealed in John 15, is in the pruning. Some of you are being pruned right now. God is cutting away everything that is keeping you from growth. It's painful, isn't it? But an unkept vine can never produce good fruit, so your branch must be kept clean.

Betapa hatiku berterima kasih Yesus
Kau mengasihiku...
Kau memilikiku...

Hanya ini Tuhan.... persembahanku
seluruh hidupku, jiwa, dan ragaku
S'bab tak kumiliki harta kekayaan
yang cukup berarti �tuk ku persembahkan

Hanya ini Tuhan permohonanku
terimalah Tuhan persembahanku
Pakailah hidupku sebagai alatMu
seumur hidupku.

Grown, not built.

The hardest single part of building a software system is deciding precisely what to build. No other part of the conceptual work is as difficult as establishing the detailed technical requirements, including all the interfaces to people, to machines, and to other software systems. No other part of the work so cripples the resulting system if done wrong. No other part is more difficult to rectify later.

Therefore, the most important function that the software builder performs for the client is the iterative extraction and refinement of the product requirements. For the truth is, the client does not know what he wants. The client usually does not know what questions must be answered, and he has almost never thought of the problem in the detail necessary for specification. Even the simple answer_"Make the new software system work like our old manual information-processing system"_is in fact too simple. One never wants exactly that. Complex software systems are, moreover, things that act, that move, that work. The dynamics of that action are hard to imagine. So in planning any software-design activity, it is necessary to allow for an extensive iteration between the client and the designer as part of the system definition.

I would go a step further and assert that it is really impossible for a client, even working with a software engineer, to specify completely, precisely, and correctly the exact requirements of a modern software product before trying some versions of the product.

...

Today we understand how like other building processes the construction of software is, and we freely use other elements of the metaphor, such as specifications, assembly of components, and scaffolding. The building metaphor has outlived its usefulness. It is time to change again. If, as I believe, the conceptual structures we construct today are too complicated to be specified accurately in advance, and too complex to be built faultlessly, then we must take a radically different approach.

Let us turn nature and study complexity in living things, instead of just the dead works of man. Here we find constructs whose complexities thrill us with awe. The brain alone is intricate beyond mapping, powerful beyond imitation, rich in diversity, self-protecting, and selfrenewing. The secret is that it is grown, not built.

From No Silver Bullet: The Essence and Accidents of Software Engineering
Download Full Article (PDF)

Something is missing

I have a weird feeling lately. Like something is not right. Like something is missing.

Maybe it's just me getting used to my new engines. Afterall, I've been down for awhile. Maybe I just have to rediscover what it means to be me. I'm just a bit rusty, that's all. Maybe it's just me really feeling the weight of the stuff I have on my plate.

The doc is away till mid-June, and he passed the baton only at the last minute. I should have seen it coming, I've worked with him for 3 years afterall. I don't like this, he said he's handling this but in the end he passed it to me. but it's alright, he's busy, and someone has to do it, and i really want this one to go through, so I will have to do it.

The fcp productization at work is finally getting somewhere, but I have to plan so things will fit in nicely with the 'going away' of our core team member. We have to absorb as much as possible from her before she leaves. I have to also divide the workload for my buddy and the 4 new student interns. Thank God for that miraculous little trick that I learned a few days ago, it sure saved some time and puts us in a good position for some real action.

My two flatmates are technically away, so I'm handling the administrative matters with the landlords and the agents. My brother needs me to help him with his student exchange programme. There's the visa application, there's the funds.. I think I might need to get him a credit card with the bill being sent to me.

I haven't been in touch with big brother V for his online resume project. There were 3 of us and we were looking for a fourth member - i think I found one in the nice lady friend that I had dinner with last Tuesday.

I haven't synchronized with Chris in awhile too. With the time I have on my hands right now, i think that other side-project won't grow much. But errgh. I have to make time. Maybe less time watching "Friends" and more time on this *hee hee*.

and I still have my reading assignments too. the team is going to have a discussion tomorrow on a model that we got from Denmark's national healthcare system. I've only read 2 of the 47 pages.

At least I got my exercise routine back on track. I got a tennis appointment with K this Sunday (I've been trying to setup an appointment with him since last month!) .. but I think I need to do this regularly. The lifestyle consultant friend of mine recommends four 45-minute sessions each week.. I guess I have to slot that in somehow.

Then my buddies for the undergraduate education project thingy will be back next week. I still have to work on the portal design and concept, and the sourcing for the hosting service. I have one but i need one that is cheaper. I'll probably do this over the weekend. I have to slot this in between the visit to the bukit timah (seeing that friend of mine who is working at the boarding school), and the tennis appointment I have with K.

Okay, enough rambling about what I have on my plate.. I think I know exactly what's missing... .. hmm...

I'm missing a plan!

I need to sit down and reorganize. I've been too busy taking action that I haven't spent enough time on planning! And i'm overwhelmed up to my neck with these things... and knowing how I usually gravitate towards areas where action is... I'll probably end up having more and more things to do .. (which is bad if I don't sit down and plan on how to get these done)

Alrightey.. so a plan it is! Let's now get to work on that!

So hang in there, and buckle up ladies,

because Joey .....

is back in the driving seat.

Seabiscuit

Why did you do it ?
Because I can. He's still good for something. You don't throw a whole life away just because you're banged up a little.
~~

He's so beat up
it's hard to tell what he's like
They got him all screwed up running in circles
that he's forgotten what he was born to do
He just need to learn how to be a horse again
~~

It ain't just the speed.
It's the heart.
You need one that's not afraid to compete
Half of these horses are only show ponies
You want one that won't run from a fight

We never know how high we are
Till we are asked to rise
And then if we are true to plan
Our statures touch the skies

The Heroism we recite
Would be a normal thing
Did not ourselves the Cubits warp
For fear to be a King

~ Emily Dickison

It might be ..

Looking back as lovers go walking past .. all of my life
Wondering how they met and what makes it last
If I found the place would I recognize the face?

    Something's telling me it might be you
    It's telling me it might be you
    So many quiet walks to take
    So many dreams to wake
    and there's so much love to make

I think we're gonna need some time
Maybe all we need is time
And it's telling me it might be you

Petals Around the Roses

Interesting game :-)

Link: Petals Around the Roses

There are only 3 rules of the game:

1. The name of the game is significant
2. The answer is always either 0 or an even number
3. Every throw of the dice has a different answer

Have fun people!

Another article: Bill Gates and Petals Around the Roses